


Bob's Burgers Oneshots And Preferences

by rmorningstar21



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22520092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmorningstar21/pseuds/rmorningstar21
Summary: This was previously posted over on my Wattpad, and I'm slowly moving some of my fandoms over.  Hoping to add more preferences as well as finish up a few one shots for this soon.  Also looking to hopefully add a few other characters as well in a future reference.  Everyone I write for this is either Underage x Underage (Fluff ONLY), or aged to 18+.  I do not write Char x Char, but I am willing to write x Reader for most characters appropriately.Current Characters are Calvin Fischoeder, Bob, Jimmy Pesto, Mort, Jimmy Jr, and Zeke.Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fanfiction using characters from the Bob's Burgers world, which is trademarked by Loren Bouchard and Adam Reed.  The characters used belong to them, and I do not claim them as my own, nor do I claim you as the “reader”.
Relationships: Bob Belcher/Reader, Calvin Fischoeder/Reader, Jimmy Jr/Reader, Jimmy Pesto/Reader, Mort/Reader, Zeke/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. How You Met

Bob Belcher: 

You met him when he was in a rough patch with Linda. When you were walking down the boardwalk, you normally just window shopped through the local stores. What had caught your eye as you walked was a handsome older man with a frown on his face as he served burgers. He was not awe-striking, no, but when he caught your eye, you felt like he needed someone to just talk to. Because of this, you walked into the restaurant Bob's Burgers, sitting down at the counter. Initially you had just ordered a coffee, but after a while you ended up ordering a burger that he had talked up with a side of fries. It was delicious, and as you stuck around, he did not seem to mind the conversation, ending it with a gentle smile upon his face. 

Jimmy Jr. 

You had been a ninth grader at Wagstaff High School, but during lunch it was a mix of the eighth and ninth graders in the cafeteria. Him and Zeke had been wrestling for whatever reason, and you ended up getting knocked over while you were trying to walk passed them. Jimmy Jr. was shocked to say the least, and immediately crawled out of Zeke's grasp to give you a hand up. It started off with a quick apology, and the two of you had been so distracted staring into one another's eyes to let go of each others hand. It was silent between the two of you, but when you heard the bell to head to your class, you had realized that you had not gotten his name, mentally cursing yourself. You would have to find him tomorrow for a proper introduction. 

Mort 

You had met him when the Belchers were using him as a cab and the children had used the home you were showing as a bathroom, before scaring away your clients. When Gene had rung out for Mort to pay the woman, you had simply rolled your eyes. You knew you were not getting a sale, but when your eyes met Mort's, you could not help but blush gently. After a stuttered out introduction, you had given Mort your realty card, telling him that you would love to get to know him better. 

Calvin Fishoeder

You had met him as his tenant, as most people do. When you had begun renting out the place, Calvin had initially given you an odd vibe. He was seemingly handsome, but he definitely acted as if he had more than a few secrets. On the contrary, you loved the idea of his mystery, as well as his handsome face, and hoped one day you would be able to talk to him on better terms than simply professional. 

Jimmy Pesto 

You were working at Bob's Burgers as a favor to Linda, but after a few weeks of working there, you had met Bob's competition. He came in and begun saying something insulting to Bob, but he had stopped what he was saying entirely when his eyes caught your gaze. It was as if his gaze softened when he saw you, and you could not help but smile at the man. After your brief meeting, Jimmy had caught you after work hours to introduce himself. 

  
  



	2. What He Likes About You

Bob Belcher 

He likes that you're understanding and hard working. When Linda walked out on him, you were there to pick up the slack, and he could not have appreciated that more. You also did not expect anything from him besides respect, and he gladly gave that to you. You had completed the family in a way that he never thought could happen again after Linda, and you understood to give him time throughout it all. 

Jimmy Jr. 

He loves that you're a tad bit eccentric. You are passionate about the things that you love, and you will break out and dance in the middle of the hallway with him, just because you can. The two of you are relatively skilled in dancing, and where you lack, he's been helping to improve. You also know how to make him smile and he just cannot stop smiling around you. 

Mort

He loves just about everything about you, but what he enjoys the most is that you don't find his job creepy at all. Since he has pride in what he does, you will sit there and let him talk for hours about what he did at work that day, or what interesting murder case had caused someone to end up in his mortuary. You love hearing his stories, and he loves telling them to you. You are the first person that he actually could open up to and talk to about what he does that did not get creeped out and walk away from him. 

Calvin Fishoeder

He loves that you are the perfect mix of professional and foxy, all at the same time. You always manage to look the other way when he does something overly questionable as well. When he's done playing businessman, you as his shy and supportive girlfriend, the two of you typically sneak out to the nearest secluded place to end up in a heated makeout session. 

Jimmy Pesto

He loves that even though you work for the enemy, you do not act like the enemy. You are always kind to him, and you adore meeting him after work for your dates. The two of you will laugh about the little feud that he has with Bob Belcher, though he still does not seem to let that go. You help him unwind, and you don't mind that he already has kids from a late marriage. 


	3. When He Realizes His Feelings

Bob Belcher

The point he had realized that he truly, genuinely liked you came from your sixth time visiting him at the diner. He had made a joke about how you must come because of how good the burgers are, when you replied that you liked his cooking, but enjoyed the wonderful company more. He was taken aback by your words, since he thought that he was relatively boring as a whole. Before that, he had found you attractive, but when he had realized that you actually were there to engage in his company, he had realized how much he truly had enjoyed yours as well. For that matter, he actually looked forward to your visits, which were all specifically at 3pm on the dot. 

Jimmy Jr. 

Though Jimmy Jr had an on and off thing for Tina for a while, it had to be pointed out to him on how much he was pining after you. Despite his confident visage, he was relatively shy when it came to his feelings for you, and it was Zeke who had pulled him aside after lunch a few weeks after you and Jimmy Jr had officially met. He had pointed out to Jimmy Jr, or Jay-Ju as he had called him, that his eyes had not left the table you were sitting at during lunch. Zeke had just told him that he needs to tell you how he feels, though this was the first time that he truly knew for sure that he felt that way towards you. 

Mort

It had taken the Belcher family, plus Teddy to point out how badly Mort had it for you. When Mort fell for someone, he ended up falling hard, even just with liking you. He was not able to get your name off of his tongue, and you became the only thing he would talk about in the diner. Bob had been the first one to exhaustedly tell him just to ask you out already. 

Calvin Fischoeder 

The second month that you had owed your rent, you had wanted to see Mr. Fischoeder, and you knew the one way that you would be able to get him to your place the fastest. You skipped paying him for 3 days, and on the fourth he had shown up at your home. Of course, he initially was not happy about the fact that you had not paid him yet, but when you added in an extra $50, as well as buying a nice bottle of wine for him, he had practically forgotten that you had paid late. The two of you sat down together and shared the wine, you only drinking one glass of it. As the two of you talked, you would occasionally say something a little flirtatious before brushing it off, but each time you had said something even relatively suggestive, you had him on the hook. He had realized that you were pulling at his heart strings in a way that he had not felt since his old flame, and knew that night that he liked you as much more than just a tenant. 

Jimmy Pesto

The two of you had an attraction to each other for a while, but on your second date with Jimmy Pesto, he had realized that he did not just want to take you home and have fun. There was something about you that made him want to take it slow, and he found himself smiling so much throughout your date. You had cracked a few jokes, but he realized it was more than just the jokes he was smiling at. Anything that rolled off of your tongue was beautiful, and a cause for smile. 


	4. Gingerbread Contest (Calvin Fischoeder x Reader)

As you were preparing to close your cafe for the holiday, you could hear your phone ringing with the one ringtone that you rarely heard. It was a tad embarrassing, but since the person with the ringtone would never be around when you were to receive his call anyhow, you did not find it too bad. Linda had teased you once about it, but you tried to play it off at the time. 

"Mr. Fischoeder?" You said in a soft voice to your phone, cradling it close to your ear as you spoke. Not often did your landlord call, and you could not help but allow your cheeks to show a gentle blush upon your face. Though he was an older gentleman, and a bit wacky, you could not help the gentle attraction you felt towards the man. Mentally, you thanked the gods that he was simply on the phone. 

"Yes, Y/N, I need you to dress as an elder gentleman and head over to my house straight away," he said in his deep, handsome voice, and you could not help but chuckle at his words. He had asked you to do some funky things before, but this was something that seemed a little over the top. "And bring 8 of your hot chocolates." 

You were silent for a few moments, trying to contemplate whether or not this was simply a joke used to humiliate you, but as you heard your name questioned once more, impatiently, you realized it was not. "Yes, sir," you said flustered, so happy that he could not see your face at the moment, though you were sure that he heard your stutter as he chuckled on the other line before hanging up. 

*** 

Arriving at the Fishoeder estate, you adjusted your wig in the mirror of your junky car before emerging from the vehicle. As you rode to his home, you had practiced a graveled voice for your disguise, on that off chance that Calvin was not pulling your leg and making a fool of you. Taking in a deep breath, you made your way to the door, raising a shaking hand to ring the doorbell of the large estate. 

After mere moments, Felix had greeted you at the door, initially giving you a sideways look. "What's the password?" He asked after a moment of merely staring at you, trying to decipher who you were. 

"Felix, it's me," you said with an eye roll, before giving him a soft glare with your y/e/c eyes. "Your brother wanted me to, you know, dress as an older gentleman…" Your voice was shaky, and a little awkward. Felix had always made you somewhat uncomfortable, especially with his pervy little look that he always seemed to give you. His eyes showed it more as you were dressed as an elderly gentleman, which made the whole situation even more awkward. 

"That's not the password," he teased, before frowning. "If anyone asks, you knew the password was pee-pee poo-poo." He stepped aside and allowed you to walk into the estate, the decor always seeming to wow you. Though you had only seen the place a couple of times, it always made your cute little cafe that you rented from Mr. Fishoeder seem like a true blue hole in the wall. "They're all down in the dungeon, which is what we call the basement." 

"Now this doesn't sound like some weird sacrifice party," you said with an awkward chuckle, anxiety rising in your body as you followed Felix. He opened the door at the end of the hallway, revealing a very creepy looking basement. 

For a moment, you stared down the stairs, somewhat shaking at the thought of what you had gotten yourself into. Your first thought was how you thought you got yourself killed walking through that door, but you clutched the hot chocolates tightly before making your way down the stairs that seemed to last forever. It seemed as if each step you walked down, they kept growing higher and higher, until you finally reached the bottom. The only thing that seemed to calm you a tad, and make you fight back the blush that wished to bloom back upon your face, was the glance Calvin Fishoeder sent your way as you made your way over to the table. 

He stood, walking over to you with a sly smile upon his face. There was something fishy about this whole situation, but you clutched the hot chocolates tightly as you felt his hand upon the small of your back. "Welcome, Mr. L/N, my plus one participant," he said excitedly, before leading you into the nearby kitchen, which simply made you wonder why he would even have a kitchen in the basement. 

As the door shut, you were met face to face with the elder Fishoeder, and could barely even meet his gaze, your nerves getting the best of you. "So, I'm not here to be sacrificed or something, right?" You said with a nervous chuckle, causing him to smile. 

"No, no, no, no," he said, his voice always only half reassuring as he spoke. There was something about his voice that always seemed to leave some mystery to everything, and make you not entirely believe everything that he spoke, though you seemed to always hang upon his every word. "Are you good at building gingerbread houses?" As he talked, he grabbed the hot chocolates from your hands and placed them upon the table of the kitchen. It was likely that he just had you bring them as a diversion to the real reason he wanted you here, but the ensemble was already relatively blatant.

You gave him a sideways look, before saying, "Uh, I mean, I guess?"

"Good, because you're going to lose the competition for me," he said with a brilliant smile, causing you to look even more awkwardly at him. 

"You brought me here to lose?" You asked suspiciously. 

His smile seemed to widen, and he placed a hand upon your cheek as he spoke once more. "Why yes, my darling Y/N, and you are going to lose for me so I don't lose." 

You could feel your face beginning to heat up under his one eyed stare and the warm hand upon your cheek, your breath nearly hitching in your throat. Swallowing hard, you tore your stare away from his gaze to recompose yourself. "Y-yes, I will." 

"Fantastic," he said, clearing his throat. The two of you made your way out to the table of gentlemen, you switching from your normal voice to a more graveled tone to seem more manly. Each movement you made, you had to make sure your disguise stayed on perfectly, slouching a bit so you did not show the gentle curve of your chest through the blazer you wore. 

The men had made Calvin wear a ridiculous loser hat that looked like a bedpan and you attempted to create a gingerbread house out of the materials set in front of you, occasionally glancing over at everyone else to make sure you were not going over the top. As the competition went on, the trash talk seemed to get worse and worse, and there were some insulting things thrown towards you from Calvin that heated you up a bit. Though you figured he was trying to keep up appearances, you could not help but feel a little hurt towards what he was saying, and after a while, you just couldn't handle it. 

"At least I don't try to make anyone else look like trash to make up for my low standing," you shot back at him, glaring angrily. The angrier you got during the competition, the more you attempted to try at your gingerbread house, causing Mr. Fishoeder to panic. Thankfully around the point that you were doing your absolute best making your gingerbread house, the attention turned to two other men at the table, and gun talk ensued. 

This threw you off of your game, and you begun feeling anxious, before you watched everyone despite yourself bring a gun out from a secret spot that they hid them on their bodies. Everyone had a gun pointed to each others gingerbread houses, and you were more than uncomfortable, stepping back as all of them did so. Felix even had a gun, but Calvin yelled at him to put his away because he was not a part of the contest in the first place. 

You had told the group that you were merely a tenant that Calvin brought in to have be the loser, so he would not be the loser for once. It was shocking that the men actually were positive about this, and you were happy to be able to take off your ridiculous old man wig that you wore, your y/h/c hair cascading down, framing your cheeks that were now ripe with fear. As you had entered thinking you would be sacrificed, now you feared that you would get shot by a stray bullet. Though for a moment it looked as if they would put away their guns, suddenly shots were being fired away at the gingerbread houses. 

Everyone's gingerbread houses were reduced to rubble despite yours, since Calvin had been the only one to shoot yours, and he had done one direct shot through it, somehow keeping it standing for the most part. You were announced as the winner, and you had offered as winner to allow the entire gentleman's club to join you for your prize. They all agreed after mere seconds of thought, since you had mentioned how great it was that they all even donated to it, and that it was like they were in a sense a weird little family, which was best on the holidays. 

*** 

At the zoo, you were allowed to go first with cuddling the albino polar bear cub, and you had not seen the way that Calvin stared over at you as you cuddled it. You pet the soft fur, watching as the cub curled into your chest tightly, and yet gently at the same time. He even had a soft tint of blush upon his face as he watched you. 

When your time was up, it nuzzled your neck as you placed the cub back down on the table before you had walked back to allow the older gentlemen to take their turns in cuddling the soft creature. Your eyes met Calvin's gaze, and you could not help the small tint of blush that creeped upon your own cheeks. 

As the two of you watched the gentlemen have their time with the bear cub, you felt a hand sneak onto your back, and you had turned to face Calvin. "You," he started before clearing his throat, "look a lot nicer as a girl." 

You chuckled at his comment, blush spreading upon your cheeks like wildfire. Leaning upward, you whispered in his ear, "Come with me." The two of you made your way out of the facility, and ended up in his car, where he simply stared at you, kind of dumbfounded that this was even happening. For a few moments, he had maybe thought that you were just done watching the older men playing with the cub and wanted to simply go home, but as you sat in the passenger seat, him in the driver's seat, you leaned over the center council and placed your lips against his. 

He was initially taken aback by your actions, but after a few moments the older man begun kissing you back, starting off gently as if he was testing the waters. Calvin begun kissing you rougher as you followed suit, passion flowing between each heated kiss the two of you shared. After a while, the two of you finally separated fully, both breathing heavily and about ready to jump one another's bones. 

"This is wildly inappropriate," he said, straightening himself up, trying to keep himself contained. 

You could not help but giggle. "Wildly inappropriate, maybe, but your participation makes me think you may just want it as much as I do," you cooed back, a soft smirk upon your face, outlined by the wildfire of blush that had made what seemed to be a permanent residence upon your face. 

His lips curled into a gentle smirk, following with him saying, "If by it you mean you, then yes, I definitely do."


	5. Scary Movie (JJ or Zeke x Reader)

The Belcher family had invited a large group to a scary movie watching party while their parents were out on a double date. Though you were never really a fan of Tina, you could never turn down a scary movie, especially a rated R movie. Your parents hardly were around, so you got the chance to watch that type of movie quite often. 

This time, the difference between now and normal was the fact that you were able to watch it with others. You wrote a note for your parents before you left the house, making your way over to the Belchers home at 6:50pm. As you walked, you hummed to yourself in anticipation for your enjoyment of the group that you would be watching the movie with. 

All the Pestos would be there, as well as Zeke, Regular Sized Rudy, and Darrell. The two that you were admittedly the most excited to see were Jimmy Jr and Zeke. Zeke and Jimmy Jr were both pretty close to you in school, though you never got the chance to see them outside of it. Since you were a year older than the two of them, you got to see them during study hall and lunch classes. 

Zeke was always the one that would give you a good laugh, bringing a smile to your face. He was the rebellious class clown that was honestly funnier than the class clown in your own grade. For that matter, whenever you got into ISS, he would slip you funny notes to cheer you up to pass the time. 

Jimmy Jr was the dancer, and he was wonderful at it. His dancing was inspiring, and then his personality was quirky, so it was always a fun mix. The only thing that was a little awkward was when he would get quiet around you and Zeke at times. It always made things a little odd. 

When you arrived at the Belchers, you were quickly ushered upstairs, arriving as one of the first to show up, followed by Jimmy Jr and his little brothers. As the rest began filing in, Jimmy Jr had sat on your right side, while Zeke sat on your left. Darrell sat on the ground next to Andy and Ollie, while Louise and Tina tried squishing on the couch next to the three of you. 

"You boys really just love sitting on top of me, don't you?" You joked out quietly, referring to Zeke and Jimmy Jr both practically touching you as you sat on the couch. 

"You know it, girl!" Zeke exclaimed with a chuckle, his lips curling up into a smile. 

Jimmy Jr was less than excited as he said, "If Tina didn't sit so close, I wouldn't be squishing you." 

You rolled your eyes at both of the boys and leaned back against the cushions of the couch, a smile tugging at your lips. "No complaining tonight, J, I'm just happy to see my two favorite boys and some zoms," you said happily. When Louise went around with a bag collecting candy, you tossed in a generous handful of candy, giving her a smile. 

The youngest Belcher announced the movie, placing it in the VCR and starting it before plopping herself back on the couch. As the movie started, you could tell the others were going to get scared, and scared fast. When the first scene of the zombie came in eating an unexpectant human, you were the only one smiling. 

The rest of the group started screaming, and you were met with both of the boys practically clinging onto your sides. With the new warmth of the two boys clinging close to you, you could not help but let your face fill with blush. Taking a deep breath, you moved both of your arms to comfort both of the boys. For a moment, you felt Tina try to get in on Jimmy Jr's side, but she gave up after very little effort. 

As the movie continued, you did jump a few times, causing the boys to just cling tighter onto you, and causing you to hold the boys tighter. Zeke had nuzzled into you more than Jimmy Jr, as Jimmy Jr was practically clinging to you for dear life. Despite the occasionally terrifying scenes, you felt your lips smiling, your heart beating faster. Your heart beating fast was ironically not from the movie, and was the fact that you were focusing on the two boys. 

Who did you like? In a sense, you liked both boys, enjoying them all in their own ways. It was hard for you to decide which you actually liked, though you were not sure if either of them liked you in the first place. High school was so confusing, especially liking two younger boys. If anyone from school actually found out that you liked either of them, it would likely kill your reputation in high school. Everything about school was so complicated once your heart got involved. 

When the movie ended, you realized that you were not getting either of your sides back right away. Apparently the movie had been scarier than anything that any of the other kids had seen, and you could hear complaints here and there about how no one wanted to get up and go home. It was a two hour movie, and the Belcher parents would not be much longer getting home. Though you were enjoying the violent cuddles you were getting from both boys, you knew it was time for everyone to leave. 

"No one's leaving!" Louise said in a frantic fashion, beginning to freak out. 

Tina was already past the point of freaking out, and you let out a sigh before offering, "I can walk the Pestos and Zeke home." 

It took some convincing, and did not fully fix the whole situation that the Belcher family had with Regular Sized Rudy and Darrell, but it did lighten the load. The first problem you had was getting up, though. Biting your lip nervously, your eyes shifted from Zeke to Jimmy Jr, and you whispered to the two, "As much as I enjoy these cuddles, I need to walk you boys home." 

After another minute, you got them both up where they were both holding your hands. Andy and Ollie were a pain to get up, but you told them that you would be able to kill any zombie that came within 10 feet of anyone, managing to get the two of them following you like you were a zombie shield. 

Zeke's hold on your hand was firm, yet not nearly as rigid as Jimmy Jr's. Jimmy Jr's grip was like a death grip, and you knew you would need to walk him home quickly before your hand fell asleep. Since the Pesto's simply lived across the street, it wasn't hard to get them over there. It was much harder, though, to get him to let go of your hand. 


	6. Scary Movie (Jimmy Jr Choice)

When you were trying to get your hand back, you said quietly, "J, if you need, you know you can call me." He seemed to ease a little bit with a gentle smile pulling at his lips. Quickly, with as much confidence as you could muster, you pressed your lips against his own, causing his eyes to widen before he realized what was going on. 

After he had realized what was going on, he began kissing back, your hand moving away from Zeke's as the two of you kissed. You had not realized the sad look upon Zeke's face as the two of you kissed, but he always had an inkling that you liked Jay-Ju more than him after all. 

When the two of you separated, you saw the light blush that painted his cheeks, your cheeks mirroring the same. "I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N," Jimmy Jr said shyly, letting go of your hand before making his way upstairs to his apartment. 

Andy and Ollie began singing, "Jimmy Jr's got a girlfriend, Jimmy Jr's got a girlfriend," with large smiles on both of their faces. 


	7. Scary Movie (Zeke Choice)

The two of you said goodbye to Jimmy Jr, Andy, and Ollie. As the two of you waved goodbye to Jimmy Jr, you had made your decision on who you liked, and you felt blush fill your cheeks. When the two of you were walking, it started out relatively awkward, before you finally broke the silence. 

"So, you really got scared, huh?" You said with a sly smile, glancing over to Zeke. 

Zeke blushed rather shyly before he said, "No way! Wait, you weren't scared?" 

You chuckled, giving his hand a light squeeze. "Not really, I watch movies like that all the time," you said softly, shrugging as you did. 

"Y/N/N, you're too badass," he teased with a smile. 

When the two of you continued walking, you were coming up on his house, and you were actually getting nervous. The two of you had gotten the chance to talk more on your way home, and you had shared some stories about how you end up getting the chance to watch rated R movies while your parents are gone. Zeke had even offered to join you, if you wanted some company next time you planned on it. 

When you had gotten to Zeke's door, you did not really want to let go of his hand. It had gone from firm to comfortable, and you were not sure if you had been reading the signs right or not. As he was about to walk in, you bit your lip nervously, before saying, "Hey, Z," to get his attention. 

"What's up, Y/N/N?" He asked, turning his head over to you. It was your one moment to do it, and quickly you took the opportunity, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his own. For a moment, he was shocked, but as soon as he realized what was going on, he pressed his lips with equal force against your own. You could feel him smile into the kiss, and the kiss was quick but sweet, leaving both of you blushing. 

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," you said with a smile, before walking away to leave an almost stunned, yet happy Zeke in your wake. 


End file.
